Becoming Your Own VIP Mind, Body, and Soul
Episode: "Pieces of You" Streamed 1/31/22
While watching a movie that rang true to me in my life and how we present pieces of ourselves....... within ourselves.... within our relationships.... and questioned why? Now for me ....my "why" started in childhood. A lot of these things that I've gone through and experienced journey wise; all had a root (originated) in childhood. That root spread within all of my areas of life because I was not properly equipped with tools to handle things in a healthy manner, and for a long time I played victim. I blamed my parents, childhood, whatever situation it was without taking ownership of myself....... until one day.
That one day came when I recognized how I showed only pieces of myself, and I really want you to think about how many times have you shown pieces of yourself, and how much of you do you even know about yourself.... because I'll tell you.... those pieces of me.... the ones I chose to ignore because it was the pieces that I had purposely disassociated from, pushed away, buried, refused to see and deal with.
Although hidden it reflected in all areas of my life because I chose not to heal it.... without me realizing it .... I thought it was just childhood that's quick, plain, and simple it was childhood. I knew that there was behaviors and patterns that I picked up from childhood, but I did not recognize how much power I had to end that cycle; now why do I mention cycle that specific word "cycle".
Well in the Bible it talks about how our father sins get passed down to our generation after generation.... well generationally.... we carry on those cycles. Look at our parents and reflect on where their cycles originated from?...... that was from their parents, and where did their parents generate their cycles from? ..... and so on and so on. It got passed down throughout generations and until someone's ready to choose differently those cycles continue to repeat.
Whether you have addictions in your family, abuse, infidelity...... where did that originate from? Is it really your story?...... because when I really look back at it the things I repeated in my life it was not my original story. There were woundings, habits, behaviors, patterns, and traits that were picked up from parents, from teachers, from your siblings, from society, from survival that you're picking up and adapting to.
We're all wounded and we're all picking up wounded aspects... now hit or miss you may come across people, books, and things of that nature that will actually show you a healthy way and if you really truly apply it to your life; then great.... that cycle has been broken. If you don't that cycle continues.
In my situation the cycles continued through my words, my actions, my habits, and behaviors all from a wounded aspect that I developed as a child and never realizing I had the power at any point in time to educate myself, to heal myself. To recognize that what was experienced was my mom and dad's and I emotionally/ energetically took that on because as a child witnessing that. You don't realize how much you've taken on and whether that is being sensitive to a parent so that you don't trigger them such as "walking on eggshells" or maybe the other parent is in pain and you want to do whatever you can to comfort them, or whether it's their behavior and you're not understanding why one moment they're so loving and kind.... and another minute not so loving and kind. That stuff puts you through an emotional roller coaster and you're constantly on your toes wondering what's going on ... waiting for the other shoe to drop.
If you're in that constant state of emotions and you don't know when that other shoe is going to drop; quite frankly you're always in survival mode trying to figure out what should I do now.... questioning if you should stay quiet... things that nature and you know pieces of you..... those pieces of you get lost.... that once happy child... that carefree... that independence.... that knowing assuredly who they are.... those pieces of you start breaking away.
You lose aspects of yourself which is why sometimes we feel so lost; we have this knowing that in the end we want happiness, peace, love, safety, security, abundance, fulfillment but at the same time we don't even know how to get it and then we place a lot of responsibility on other people........outside sources to bring that to us and then if that doesn't happen and things fall apart we then blame.
For me a lot of my reflections of the pieces that were missing of me were mirrored heavily in my relationships... they're the most intimate... they're the ones you invest your heart in differently, and a lot of times those is where those pieces of you really get pushed down at least in my case they did. Example - if you're trying to live your life in a way that is not you and you are pushing away the authentic you and you're giving that other person the understanding that you're everything that they think you are.... eventually that's what I consider a mask and eventually that mask is going to fall off. So, whatever you said to that person, however you acted or agreed to that was false in the beginning of the relationship then that mask is going to come off, and guess what if they had a mask on too, that mask is going to come off them too. This creates a lot of confusion, power struggles, insecurities, and things of that nature.
An aftermath of hurt because you only gave them pieces of you, and you know you can blame them as much as you want...... and at the beginning I certainly did blame them...... but then when I was ready to look at the parts I played, I'm not even going to worry about them, because I'm sure they have their own history I'm not even going to worry about them let's look at me..... because I know what I'm looking for...which is that safety, security, fulfillment, love, marriage, healthy relationship, etcetera.... and if it's not happening and I've had more than one relationship then something is going on within me and what is that?
That question created that moment within me that I had started praying and asking questions and when that door gets opened and your answers come; it's going to be required of you to finally face those pieces of you that you buried so deep in the dark.... facing your demons.... facing your fears, your worries, your resentments, your angers, your pains, and also forgiving where we for so long didn't want to forgive. We didn't wanna give up that wound, that badge that created whatever we were looking for like love. There's something that within us we held on to that hurt maybe because it's all we knew, but it wasn't protecting us, it wasn't serving us, and letting that go requires forgiving our parents.
They themselves picked up stuff from their parents and from those places of wounding they lived their life picking up other wounds, but there's positive too.... and all of it was learning.... all of it helped to either educate us in a way that equipped us with what we needed, or it did not equip us with what we needed to live a fulfilling life. For instance my mother is very loving and kind and sweet and dad was very smart, educated, and street smart and they were both very strong people... but then there's other aspects of them because we're Ying and Yang there's dark and light energies within us all.....but as a child you don't know how to interpret that, or understand that so we take it on and we carry their darkness in us and of course because of that darkness we may do things that create additional regrets and traumas but the story...the originating story it's still going to be the same..... where there's infidelity, abuse, addictions, whatever that is it's the same story over and over again it's just with different people, different places, different times, and you still use that original victim story.
When it's time for you to break out of that victim story it takes a lot of resilience, persistence, endurance, strength, courage, a lot of prayer, and a lot of faith that you'll come out on top. One day I was having a hard day because it's not a quick fix people.... it is not a quick fix .... this is not only to acknowledge it and it's done ... no, there is so much within you that you're to heal; your mind, your body, and your soul being to add to that depending on your age how long that's been racking up within you and also if you're resistant to change, or if you're open to it.
All of this creates how long you're going to go through that span of healing but one day my mom had just mentioned out the blue about how in Japan if there was a plate that was broken, they repaired it with gold bringing value and worth back into that plate. Where that plate was once broken and now something that typically a person would throw away in the trash and it won't be valued at all. They salvaged it by putting the pieces back together but when they put gold in those broken seams and again allowed the value and the worth of that plate to actually increase.
The reason why that's so important is because that shame, guilt, regret, anger, and resentments that we carried for so long we lose our value and our worth of ourselves and point fingers at ourselves and we also take value from others because we're no longer trying to see their value because we're so worried about blaming them or judging them. When you look at your broken pieces within you; you're refusing to see you're taking it out on the outer person because you can't face your inner person. It's your mirror reflecting back out to the outside world and it's the same as all those good things about you that you're not seeing either .... you know that's sometimes how we gravitate to people.... because of things we like about them whether they're charismatic, a people person who is really outspoken, or whatever those scenarios are that you're attracted to.
The attraction to this person is because they actually embody those characteristics that you're not allowing yourself to embody. The stories and limitations you placed on yourself saying ohh I'm an introvert, ohh I'm so shy.... but yet every single person that you want in your life is outgoing and can smile brightly in a crowd, talk to everybody and make friends with everybody..... deep down inside that is you! You're that introvert, you're that shy person because you shut off a piece of you.... so discovering those pieces of you to renew your worth, your value.
You know what it feels like to be broken, and you know (or will know) what it feels like to be put together and how good it feels to shine in a way that it allows the lessons to resonate and to not repeat those old patterns any longer. That's where the healing comes in because again your emotions, they're strong in your body when you feel anxiety or fear. Your mind how it replays those traumas or that negativity or judgment of yourself or judgment with others that is so strong, and trauma when the thoughts make you feel like you're reliving it. You don't yet know how to shut it off and how our body stores that trauma and how we react to that plus exercising, meditation, and prayer.
The reason why I created Become Your Own VIP Mind, Body, and Soul is because it was all of these aspects that honestly have to be in balance for you to find that peace within you and again I'm not saying it's a religious thing and you have to go to church or any of that, but spirituality is understanding there's something higher than you that you can pray to for that courage, that strength. I know for me the serenity prayer was a blessing because there were some things I could not control and there were pieces of me that was trying to control it because maybe not wanting that relationship to end, maybe not wanting to feel the feelings that I had to feel.... there were just some things that were not in my control.
I couldn't fix the relationship anymore because that takes two people and you have to take ownership right, but when it comes to your emotions and the things you've hidden away that's you.... that's you honey... that is all you that you can control and again see my other podcast with all the things you can control.... there are so many things that we can control but it takes courage to have to face even those things and I pray to you all today that you look at those pieces of you that you neglected.... that you've hated ...regretted...had shame over.
Look at all your past relationships, and when I say relationships it is not just a partnership relationship; it could be a relationship to yourself, finances, health, your career, your siblings, your parents, your friends, your relationship with your animals, your relationship with your children, your relationships with your home, relationships with your appearance, how you carry yourself, the relationship you have with absolutely everything. If your desk and car is cluttered, your room is cluttered, your house is cluttered.... it's because your mind is cluttered. We are needing to look at our story and how the things we didn't want to face within us got mirrored on the outside of us.... all those problems that we had within, whatever relationship it was .... now turn it back on to you and see. Ask yourself where have I neglected myself, where I've not listened to myself, where have I not respected myself, where have I put another person above me, and all these questions that you've questioned your entire life... you know whether it's about infidelity, rejection, abandonment. Where have you abandoned yourself, where have you rejected yourself, where did you put a third party before you... so whether it is putting your partner on a platform and then lowering yourself.... we're all equal even your boss at work. You know you put that person above on a pedestal and how did you lower yourself, how did you dumb yourself down in any aspect in your life... that's how you cheated on yourself. Have you hurt yourself; that's abuse... have you emotionally, mentally, and physically hurt yourself that created you to harm another person, an animal or whatever else and now that harm is coming back on to you. These signs that could tell you "Hey you're hurting yourself" these are the pieces of you that I pray that you can now look at and find those answers within by looking back in your past.
All the good that that reinforces your value, your worth and all these things that you say you're not ...nope cause your back story shows that you actually do have that within you it's just you weren't willing to love yourself enough to see your worth, your values and what you can contribute to others.
The Bible was another thing that was very amazing to me because you know for a long time I didn't understand the Bible but the stories within the Bible whether it was a parable or whatever.... it was to teach us how to live our life so that we can heal, let go of those demons in our lives, and how we can now choose better. One of the things I'm kind of just going to go over is that one story that I've already mentioned when it comes to the sins of our father. I hope that story in itself shows reflection on how those sins of the father has carried down generationally and has now landed upon you and how those things have impacted you and what are you passing on to your children because of those woundings. I challenge you to really look deep at that and see how you can now be the one to stop that .... with empathy compassion, love, and how you can show up for yourself, your loved ones, and all of your relationships to become a better person.
Pieces of you.... it just starts with putting the pieces of you back together and knowing your worth and your value to do that. That might mean people are going to fall away that had supported those toxic behaviors, they might go away because now you're filling those cracks will gold, you know your worth and that means positive environments, and positive things, and positive anything that helps support you...... food, getting rid of substances & things of that nature that take away from you. Now you're adding back into your life and maybe you don't go out as much.... those are OK because you deserve to take time for yourself to find those pieces of yourself and face those emotions and they can be strong emotions... whether its fear, anger, sadness coming up from out of you and different levels of it.
I hope if you have any questions you contact me let me know if you have any questions and I hope that this has helped answer some questions and I'll lead into more podcast videos but today is about pieces of you and how we can get ourselves back into wholeness because there was never anything wrong with you it was just the lessons that we encountered and now are utilizing those lessons to heal, to let go, and make better choices. I hope you're up for the challenge & congratulations to those who have already been on this path... we're all on different levels and I hope this resonates with you tonight and I hope to see you next week thank you
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