Becoming Your Own VIP Mind, Body, and Soul
Episode: "Love vs Fear...Love is Currency" Streamed 2/13/22
Love versus fear.... love is a currency. So, what I found on my journey about love actually is deeper than I thought it was... this depends on other people's awareness but my personal awareness I judged emotions as love but love actually is so much deeper. Love is a spiritual love, it's an all-encompassing love.... but for me conditional love where if something happened that that person didn't like... that love was based on a condition that you were to keep me happy in some way, or you are to know not to do this.... and because you did this, because you did that.... I now pull away my love, or I did this for you... how many times have I done this for you and now you do that.... so now I'm pulling this away.
Love was conditional and it was based on a lot of conditions and so that means you are learned to condition yourself.... losing pieces of yourself in order to please another person; so that's what I knew about love was a conditional love and when you're so worried about another person you lose your power, and you have actually developed some form of codependency. Love ... what I found is unconditional... now it doesn't mean I'm going to love you unconditionally by staying under the same roof if you're abusive on any level mentally, emotionally, or physically no that's taking it to another level. I will love you unconditionally but there will be a boundary of separation.
Unconditional love is understanding that I'm my own person, and I'm not going to know what you're thinking or feeling or expecting of me. I am my own individual person with my own individual uniqueness about me; whether we even came in the same household or were raised together.... I'm my unique entity, my own emotions, my own beliefs, my own thoughts, and how I receive love. For instance, the five languages of love you know there's certain ways that people express love and receive love not everyone is on that same exact wavelength of love.... they communicate differently.... they listen and transmit what's being said differently within themselves based off of what that means to them. Some people are more sensitive than another, some people have had different backgrounds, cultures ... there's a different way that love can be expressed.
With unconditional love you're loving that person for all they are and accepting them for all they are.... and the other thing is about love is with this journey is self-love because how often do you really love and know yourself? What is your love language? How do you communicate love? Why do you love yourself? What is it that you love about yourself, and even deeper what do you love about the people you're with.
I used to build my basis of love based off of emotion and what a person can do to make me feel good, and when that love didn't feel so good then it felt as if maybe they didn't love me.... or maybe I did something wrong. I don't know if this is ringing true to anybody, but love was very complicated for me, and I was so worried about another person loving me.... I did not love myself ...... and there's something I wrote a while ago about this that "love is currency, it's not love that is hard... it is finding our way back to love... to be love... we express love based on the level of maturity that we are at mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually..... to love ourselves first so that we love others...that is basically to love all of you... where you are now and take strides to improve yourself out of love to expand and have patience and forgiveness of yourself to love through the challenges so that you can be patient and forgiving with the ones you love as well as your community."
Depending on where you're at maturity level wise with your understanding of love... if you were taught unconditional love or if you were taught conditional love and with how you choose to love others and place them above you; what I learned is really we're all equal we are each other's partners to get through this journey of life together. You're no more important to me... than I am to you, we are equals... now you may have more experience in this area... you may have carried yourself in a way that maybe I don't. That doesn't make you higher than me this is unconditional love there's something about me that drew you to me and you love me so love me for me... but yet we get so caught up on changing ourselves for another.
Now I'll explain that when you're attracted to somebody there truly is actually a yin and yang to why you're attracted to somebody on a deeper spiritual level if they hold themselves charismatically... they're very social and outgoing, where maybe you're not and that attracts you to them.... that's because there's a power within you that holds those same characteristics that you haven't pulled out of yourself yet because of some insecurity or confidence that you have not yet stepped into so that person is mirroring to you what you actually are but yet have not embodied.
Then there is another aspect to them that you don't like... those things that tighten you up and create resistance within you. Those are actually things within you that are needing to be reviewed and healed... we actually truly have a deeper purpose as to why we are partners in this journey whether it's your family, your friends, your partners. Love for me meant transforming myself in order to be loved and liked throughout my childhood for pleasing my parents, to pleasing my friends trying to fit in up into my relationships and that takes pieces away of who you really are, and you lose yourself.
At some point and time when we're feeling lost it's because we built ourselves up to be what others wanted and when we're finally ready to make a life and stand up for ourselves when our soul is screaming out, I'm done with listening to and being what people want me to be.... you know when we get so angry when someone's controlling us... that's because that's not who we are but yet we lost who we are when we kept giving pieces of ourselves away.
What I learned is everything we do in life has a choice and it's a really simple choice you wanna know what it is .... you choose out of love or fear.... and with love it's constructive... with fear it is destructive.... love can be progress.... fear can be regression.
It's how you choose which will decide how your life will go; if you're choosing to do something truly out of love... that's where love is currency, and you know love is rich .... fear is debt.
To love who you are and to choose things in love you are producing and creating. Now if you're changing yourself or you're just settling for something because you fear you're going to lose it...you're sabotaging ... you're tearing things down, and eventually you're going to become unhappy and there's going to be fearful choices that you're going to make that will lose respect within your relationship which will not feel good, you'll deplete your energy , you'll feel some type of way... addictions may start occurring... things of that nature because you're taking pieces away from yourself .
I always say be fruitful now... be fruitful so that it with your words and your thoughts and your actions through love. Every time you're making a choice to pick up something to eat or drink, we literally have a choice to choose the loving choice or the fearful choice.... usually if we're picking the fearful choice let's stick with food like a donut versus an apple something simple.... there are patterns of what we were developed to learn that was really good and satisfying, quick, easy... and sometimes the quick thing is not the best.
We eat that donut that's our primary thing... we like the fast-food preservative base foods... all of that... that's hurting us.... that is something that's toxic going into our body so that's a toxic relationship we have with food , drinks, drugs, and alcohol versus love... when you're choosing foods that actually nourish you that are actually sustaining you and giving you the nutrients that you need for your body which is raw foods, apples, oranges, nuts, berries, beans... etcetera and actually cooking those foods or eating it raw.... these are the things that actually help sustain you.
Look at how we were raised back in the day we had those raw foods and stuff but then we transitioned into fast food on almost every corner, commercials displaying all the time, now you have prescription medication commercials coming up all the time because a lot of people are choosing things that are actually taking away from ourselves instead of adding.
Choose love versus fear when you're looking at everything... even with your partners....am I choosing to love this person because I really love this person.... this person values me... and they're not asking me to change. Now I might change because as a person I am growing, I am in love, I am producing, and with that love and with that abundance I am growing in my mind, body, and soul choosing things that make me a better person.... which is self-development because I love myself versus fearing losing someone and trying to fit in with ... if you're jealous or something of someone else.
These are the things that I would like you to think about you know 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 4 through 7 I want you to think about this as a way you treat yourself as well as the way you treat your relationships in life and again relationships is everyone that you have some form of partnership with in. "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
This is unconditional love and yes love means you're going to have to set some boundaries that are healthy and kind to yourself, and another person. You even need to set healthy boundaries for yourself; is what I'm learning. These are the things that I would like you to think about... all those times you've given your power away... did you choose love or fear. If you're giving your power away it's because you chose fear... now there are healthy compromises that you could make if it there's no harm to either person spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically sure.... but again, choose wisely with whatever you do and really look at what you're choosing.... are you choosing love or fear... are you choosing a pattern that's healthy or toxic. This is also about your environments, the people you hang out with, the words you are choosing, the thoughts that are going through your mind, and your actions.
I'm not saying it's an easy quick fix but the first step is being aware because for so long I was not aware so I hope this message helps anyone that's listening today to be prosperous, be rich, be abundant and choose love... to love yourself wholly and to love those around you from the plants, to the animals, to your family... we're all on some level of growth and on some level there might be some pain in there somewhere or there just may be some type of lack of awareness.... and you know what that's OK ... because that's in us too. That's where we develop love and compassion for ourselves so that we can develop love and compassion for others.... because when we see those things within us that might need a little bit of adjusting...the same with them... and we remove the pressure, and we remove the conditional love.
We choose to love them wholly for who they are and again if it's to the point they're detrimental to you in some way yes that relationship might need to end for a little bit until they get on the same page when it comes to healthy patterns of love but sometimes it's the small things that always blew up something... and allowed us to magnify it versus really looking at it why does that bother me.... and really, it's usually something about you ... something that triggered you going back into the past where that didn't feel so comfortable. A lot of times when we are choosing out of fear something within us is uncomfortable we may not understand why... maybe it's the energy in the air and it's really uncomfortable and it's triggering our nervous system because of buried traumas within our body and we don't know how to deal with it and on that subconscious level of feeling so weird and uncomfortable we choose something that's toxic to make us feel good.
Whether it's that food, whether it's going out shopping, whether that's random sex with someone, whether that is alcohol or drugs.... whatever that temporary moment was to make us feel good.... or maybe we lashed out at someone because we just felt so tight and tense and then they came up on us so quick and fast that we responded with harsh words that we really didn't mean but because of this emotional build up within us triggering body trauma stored deep within us there is energy that has not been released from the past and we lashed out and that created a ripple effect that you didn't want.
Sometimes in those moments it just takes awareness so that you could push pause reply to them with love and then you walk away so you could find out what's going on within you... these are just things I found out I'm sharing with you.
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