Becoming Your Own VIP Mind, Body, and Soul
Episode: "Healing Tool # 1 Affirmations & Afformations" Streamed 5/12/22
I've talked a lot about how I have rebuilt my house on a solid foundation, and I've mentioned prayer as definitely the thing that I go to on a regular and that is truly the number one thing I suggest you all to do. One of the other things that I practiced next was affirmations which is affirming positive words that affirm positive, uplifting, and empowering statements that quite frankly we don't say to ourselves or hear from others to empower us on a day-to-day basis.
An example of affirmations are statements such as "I am strong", "I am loved", "I am worthy", "I am kind", "I am powerful", "I am confident" .... so, with that example of affirmations let me first give some statements that some people sometimes don't believe that affirmations actually work and psychologically your body actually can reject affirmations because if you say, "I am rich" and you really know that you're not rich and deep in your soul you know that's a lie ... your body will reject that because you know that's not true because that's a firm belief within you that you are not rich.
When you say "I am loved" and deep inside you feel that no one loves you then your body can reject that psychologically, so it can actually backfire on you ... and I'll go into some different things you can go do instead when that happens but that's number one when it comes to some of the things that people do say that are negative towards affirmations and again is supported psychologically because the fact deep down you have a belief that that's not the case.
Now for me personally why did affirmations work and maybe yes, I did experience the psychological aspect where it said, "no you're not", but how did it work for me?
Well, those words definitely were never said by me on a day-to-day basis .... not at all and they were not said by my loved ones especially to the point where even if they did say those things and may not be frequent. How often are you in a situation when your family is having to say that ... until something is happening in your life and then you really need to hear those words and then they will give you that fuel by saying "you are loved", "we love you", "know you are strong, and we know you can get through this". Those words encouragement needed during those times when we are really down and out ... but the thing about affirmations is about reprogramming your mind and not just your mind but your subconscious mind on a deeper level.
You have your conscious and your subconscious that you are actually programming yourself with positive words versus the negative words that we actually say more to ourselves on the day-to-day basis than the loving and empowering words .... especially if you know we're questioning what choices we made in a day or an experience we had in a day.
Again we don't question when things are going right; when something is going right everything is beautiful in the day ... we're just going ... we're happy ... we're not really making conscious thought of it; we're just going with the flow .... just happy, enjoying, and feeling blessed but the minute something negative happens that rubs us wrong then we question "did I do something to make them act the way they just acted", or second guess what could have been done .... or someone you know cuts us off or something like that and then all of a sudden, we're in this anger mode .... we're really negative and stuff like that and there's not a programming in there to teach us in a loving way to remain calm and censored and there were loved .... that we're valued .... we're respected .... things of that nature.
We are majority of the time looking for people to reinforce those things ... those positive uplifting statements in our lives ... but that's not what we should be doing ... we really need to be uplifting ourselves .... because when that same source of outer people that we look to say those positive things that uplift us and make us feel beautiful and loved .... well on their bad day they're not going to say that .... they're going to say something totally opposite .... totally negative ... not supportive and then you're going to take that ....and you're going to ruminate on those .... overthink on those ... if you're wounded on those ... and also take them to heart as if they really are who you are and that's not who you are.
Affirmations for me personally ... it was an initiation to self-love ... to validate the positive things in my life of things that I've wanted to say ... of things I've wanted to hear said to me .... because those hurtful words are what replay over and over again in your mind .... and you really believe that's you ...... and it's not you.
They were words that were said when they're angry .... they're words that were said when you may not have known better .... they're words that were said when you didn't have the tools to equip you with handling a situation a different way... a better way ... because guess what if you did have the tools ... if you did have the knowledge .... you would have handled it differently ... and quite frankly the situation would not have blown up ... and not only that the same for them .... they may not have the tools or know better on how to handle situations and they may only know how to say hurtful words because they were hurt, and they don't have the tools or the words to really express themselves in a healthy way and because they are wounded and they're saying their wounds out loud to you ... and you're wounded and you're taking it and hearing it .... or vice versa.
They're two wounded people hurting each other ... and both people are taking it very personal .... but really these two people did not have the proper tools ... emotional intelligence or emotional awareness of triggers of past hurts, and wounds to bring it down and to come to a healthy way of communicating and expression of what they're truly feeling triggered by ... or looking back and recognizing you know what it's not you but I am projecting a past pain on to this situation right now because this is how my ex handled this. Right now, you scared me so much with what you just said ... that it felt like the consequence of loss or lack from that relationship ... it was just about to happen right now ... and I wanted to stop you before it happened to protect myself .... so, I'm saying something really hurtful ... or I'm pulling away and rejecting you before you reject me type stuff.
I'm just saying a relationship right now because quite frankly again it's the relationships that impact us the most .... and again it doesn't necessarily have to be a partner... it could be a parent... it could be siblings... it could be a friendship... it could be a coworker... these relationships that we have are greatest teachers and so with these affirmations it was building me up and this is something you had to do consistently every single day, and more than once a day to be quite honest. I was doing affirmations morning and night eventually it was working so well; I stopped thinking I did not need it and then those negative words began to come back up because there were still unhealed aspects of me, so you still need to keep going.
You still need to continue with that positive affirming of who you are and because you know what ... I know I'm beautiful .... I am loved .... I am lovely ...I am respected .... I am valued ... all these things ...and you say confidently ...and you say I am because this is that present moment... it's not I will be better ... no... I am better... I am loved... you don't want to put it as past tense ... and you don't say things that counter what you're wanting to program within yourself.
Personally, my life was built on fears, worries, doubts, insecurities, limits and lacks .... and you go around walking around like you're on eggshells in life .... and with people ... because you don't know what's going to set them off. You don't know what's going to set you off ... and you also don't know what to expect with any action or word you say .... so, there's a lack of confidence.
These affirmations build you up ... where before you were torn down ... and a lot of times you didn't even understand why you where you are being torn down... so then those cycles returned over and over again in your relationships and within yourself ... within your mind every single day. Which is why a lot of people develop toxic habits such as food, sex, drugs, alcohol, shopping, .... whatever your addiction is ... because they are trying to quiet down the noise in their mind ... and they're listening to music constantly...... listening TV constantly .... not realizing that they're actually overindulging... over stimulating your mind ... sensory overload ....and so your mind is just it's chattering away, and it never had a chance to just be quiet and be still.
Affirmations was one of the new boards (refer to Can You Stand the Rain podcast/blog) I picked up ... I dropped the toxic boards, and I picked up and built affirmations in as one of the boards into my new foundation when I was building myself back up. Now when I fell off of affirmations and I tried to get back on them I recognized there was a certain resistance ...recognizing what some studies were talking about how mentally you can resist those things and again you still needed to work through your wounds.
The next thing I found out was what's called woe and there's not a lot of information out there to be honest about afformations there is some a little bit of articles here or there.... but afformations is asking a powerful question to your mind ....for your mind to work for you. This allows finding those answers of why you are loved ... why you're able to achieve all your goals ... you know why am I so wealthy right now .... why is abundance flowing to me so easily .... these are the questions, and you know I recognize that I finally started asking empowering questions when I was ready .... so, when I was at my lowest of lows and I'm sitting here praying looking for change .... instead of asking ohh why, why me or woe is me type questions the world ... the universe ... will present you with that answer by replaying those cycles to show you. This is why and you need to change this but if you then say more empowering questions why am I so loved .... so now I shifted from the victim mentality and the world showing me all the answers to why the victim mentality is continuing to play out.
Now I'm asking why am I so loved and the world's gonna show you why you are so loved. A form of manifestation how your thoughts can bring to light what you constantly think about and not realizing that's why I was creating the relationships.... the patterns .... the beliefs ... and behaviors I was doing because from childhood that's the only thing I knew and that's the only thing that replayed through my mind and with those fears how can I protect myself and you know to do that that means I pushed away a lot of people the minute I was vulnerable .... you know so that they didn't see me .... or I pushed away and ran from a lot of relationships, and it got heavy because that was my way of protecting myself.
These are the things that I'm asking for you to look at about yourself and your patterns of life... your patterns of behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that were created and how does it impact you in a positive and negative way. When I was rebuilding my boards and found affirmations and afformations it honestly was a blessing, so this is one of the tools I am introducing today because I jnow I told you a lot of stories and wanted to provide tools
that I am introducing to you today because I know I told you a lot of stories of things but now I'm actually going to provide tools .... so, with those affirmations and afformations .... again also with prayer you know there's also a thing I'm gonna bring prayer back into this because with prayer even how you say your prayers you can be a victim or you can be empowered through your prayers and I am quite honest with God because he already knows what's going on but I don't come at God, but not with a woe is me aspect any longer.
What I do is one thank him for the blessings , of these things that I'm asking for um you know making him to be a better person .... thanking him to watch over myself and my family, and my loved ones and those who've been a part of my journey who's helped me along this way because without them in my life I would have not gotten to the point where I could finally do better ... be better ... and be on this podcast teaching. There's also forgiveness you go through in your prayers. I was having a conversation with the gentleman the other day how he wasn't ready to forgive someone and it's not about forgiving a person... it's about forgiving within yourself so that you can move forward.
By forgiving them within you, letting that stuff go & recognize both of y'all were really hurt .... that's number one ... and again both of y'all were wounded not knowing any better and not having proper tools and whatever else has happened.... has happened ...you can't take that back but when you look and realize how you personally have made mistakes, and you want to be forgiven.... why would you not be open to forgiving that person? I know .... I.I know ...that they may have hurt .... I know that they have created a lot of anger ...it created a big shift in your life that you know was unplanned ... and whatever else domino affected from that situation... I know... but forgiveness is still needed in order to move on, and this is these are boards that you build .... so, forgiveness ... prayer ... and affirmations and I think I'll do a little bit more on prayer and forgiveness a little bit later .... so, I won't even go to this right now I want to continue to talk about that affirmations and afformations but by asking powerful questions your mind will present these things to you.
People use this as a scenario when you all sudden have a new car in your mind that you really want or you're pregnant and all of a sudden now all you see is mothers where you didn't see them before ... this is what our mind is programmed to do ... our mind is the computer and it's been filled with a lot of stuff and we never went in and did any type of virus cleanup . We didn't know and now it's time for you to activate that clean up mode and again if you're continuing to fill your computer drive up with the nonsense and the toxicity it's not gonna help ... the cleanups not gonna help ... my foundation broke so that was my time for once the all my foundations was on the ground ... to leave the toxic boards on the floor and now add the new ones ... new healthy boards ... affirmations and afformations was what one of those boards were along with prayer and forgiveness.
There's still things I'm working out on the forgiveness thing because I buried deeply some stuff but either way it's one of those things that whatever you cannot remember it can be worked out energetically it's not about you having to remember this instance and I will get into that episode as well for you because a lot of this stuff we actually can do ourselves ... we didn't know how to though.
Depending on the outer world with therapists and stuff like that ... that's good because the fact that gives us a different perspective but there is actually a lot that you can do to take your power back and work on improving yourself and affirmations and afformations is one of those things so I do ask that you please Google and look this up there is an affirmation and afformations as well on YouTube and it'll give you some scripted ones ready so that you can pick a few and then put that into your day-to-day routine.
They say it takes 21 days to build a habit .... quite honestly, I say this should be a lifetime thing or at least a long-term thing because this is about reprogramming yourself ... and supporting yourself so that when something happens suddenly in our lives you don't want to fall back to the bad habits. This allows that you're reinforced, and your foundation is strong within the new healthy habits that you established and by continuing to maintain that you know you are OK. Speak them every single day and uplift yourself ... to love yourself ...and give yourself some self-love, and self-care with these words and share it with others so that they can know that they can uplift and empower themselves.
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