Becoming Your Own VIP Mind, Body, and Soul
Episode: "Can You Stand the Rain" Streamed 3/1/22
Can you stand the rain.... this song is inspired by New Edition when I was a young girl and the thing, I tied behind this song growing up was relationship of course... and finding that person that can stand the rain with me through the good times and the bad times they would always be right by my side.... remember that song?
OK so that was a little girl's romantic image of a relationship not saying that it doesn't exist but I'm gonna flip it on you right now. Have you been able to stand the rain with you... through sunny days and when the storms come... can you stand the rain?
I asked this question to myself and you know when you're on a healing journey you recognize what's truly important and where it all begins in order to stand the rain not only within yourself but with others; with any relationship that you build ..... because if you can't stand the rain within yourself..... how can you shelter someone else's storm?
I've recognized that through my own trials and tribulations in life through my own losses of love and questioning ..."why" ... well the answer was I wasn't sheltering myself. In my last podcast about the masculine and feminine energies and how they both exist in us. Well, I wasn't fully emotionally developed and that's just the truth and because of that I wasn't able to shelter my storms or be equipped with the correct tools to shelter myself in my storms, but yet that child within me and that romantic, passionate, and loving side that was ready to find someone to help me on my journey to stand the rain with me.
The thing is if I didn't know how to shelter my storm.... I was putting my storm all upon them to figure it out for me, and that wasn't fair ..... that wasn't right. Whether that was my family, my mom, my sisters, or my partners at some point in our lives ... every stage of our lives we're all going through a storm. Sometimes it's a light rain ... sometimes it's a mist .... but sometimes it's a full on raging tropical storm, and based off whatever we've experienced in our life we all have different perspectives, different tools or lack of tools to handle those things.
There are some storms that you have to handle by yourself.... that you're in the boat by yourself because it's something that you're having to go through within that journey in order to grow and the people that are with you are actually helping you.... supporting you... helping hold that umbrella.... helping ... holding you up to shelter you from the storm but not to solve it .... not to take it on.
The song Can You Stand the Rain.... one of the things that I loved about the lyrics was "Love unconditional... I'm not asking just of you... and girl to make it last ....I'll do whatever needs to be done" so the first question is if you were to look at this and not to put your storm upon anyone else..... how do you shelter yourself from any storms that come?
Your storms are gonna come in so many ways; it could come through your family... your loved ones.... it could come from your job..... it come from finances.... it can come from within you..... your body... your mind... your emotions, and yeah your spirit.... your soul. What its calling out of you..... if you're not at ease.... you're in disease and I talk a lot about polarities... everything in this world is about a polarity and how you choose to act.... the thoughts.... the words .... and actions. You have a positive or negative polarity of what you take so you could be at ease or you could be within disease..... you could be building up or tearing things down..... you could be loving unconditionally or you could be loving conditionally....and so I love the lyric with unconditional love because for so long I didn't even understand that there was any differences.
Something that I would love to share with you right now is the difference between conditional love and unconditional love. Conditional love it's earned on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by a lover or a family member. For instance, if you do not want to receive negative consequences because in your past you did something and that created a negative reaction, you learned to recognize love was taken away.... no I'm not gonna hold you right now, I know you're sad, but you just did something that really made me upset so Nope not gonna hold you right now.... Nope I'm not gonna talk to you right now.... I'm giving you the silent treatment and/or you received some type of harsh physical punishment for something that you were learning, and you didn't know what was going to happen...... it didn't come with the positive consequences where you could be talked to in a way to understand with a positive healthy boundary...... something negative happened.... so you learn and go through life with conditional love.
Whereas in unconditional love it's given freely to the loved one no matter what... unconditional love.... separates the individual from her or his behaviors because we all know behaviors are exhibited through what we do or do not know. If you have bad behaviors, it's because you do not know any better or maybe you do know better, and you still choose to have that negative behavior .... well then that it goes up to its not you but the other person's responsibility to be able to fix that on a level of their responsibility.... their accountability and they may not be ready to but that's where you go ahead and understand and have compassion and love them unconditionally. Now the question is with unconditional what unconditional love is well it's simply put by there's just no strings attached... I'm gonna love you freely no matter what.... I don't need to have you return it to me.... I know I love you... it's just like unconditional love in a healthy pattern with your child right so when in a healthy way or even like say for instance my family.... no matter how dysfunctional or toxic we grew up in.... there was still that unconditional love we had for one another and with that unconditional love we've weathered the storms and we have grown.... and we've grown together and we're not perfect but we're there and we're supporting one another.
Can you stand the rain I feel as a good example between my family because even with all of our perspectives and wanting to turn away someone's opinion.... you're still there to support them.... even if they fall down.... they're still there and there is a balance you'll see kind of fluctuate......because it's energy if you don't know any better to be consistent in unconditional love you can see it kind of go into conditional love sometimes and you can see it flow into unconditional love...... that kind of happens.... and guess what that's what happens on your learning journey...... so that's where you always have patience with yourself and your family....... and that's where unconditional love comes in, because you know that on their journey, they're going to have moments of positive and negative responses to their trials and tribulations in life......... and yes, they're gonna try things.... yes, they may fall down but unconditional love is ...you know what.... I love you I'm gonna help support you to get back up.... or I'm gonna help and support you and watch from afar....... but you know I'm always gonna be there for you to call me when you need me.
So, it doesn't mean we have to agree with someone, but can you stand the rain with them? Can you stand the rain when you are going through these things whether it's anxiety, depression, fear, worries, and doubts.... when your mind is constantly running.... when you're frozen, not able to move forward with dreams and things you really want to pursue in your life and you're constantly making excuses and self-sabotaging yourself.... when you're choosing things that hurt you vs. them love you.... to support another person so that they choose things that are loving and kind .... that's beautiful.... but you first owe that to yourself because unfortunately all these externals that we have.... they do fall away at some point. Life happens and we don't know what's gonna happen.... when it comes to anyone outside of ourselves but the only thing, we do have control over is us ....it starts with you choosing to love yourself unconditionally.... can you love yourself to know that.... I have this fear; why?... and keep moving forward to pursue it anyway.
I have this anxiety and it's really crippling me right now; these thoughts keep playing over in my mind again and again... re-traumatizing me over the past events where I failed or where I got hurt ......whether that's pursuing a relationship.... a job.... a goal.... a dream. Worried about embarrassment if you didn't succeed .... well, you tried ...and you learned from it. Get back up.... you can do it .... you can take the information that you learned along the way and try again.... maybe a different way...... maybe with a different mindset, different attitude with prayer...... ohh I could tell you prayer got me through a lot of things, but can you love yourself unconditionally?
That is truly the question that's at hand and for a long time I didn't understand that, and this is why I'm bringing up this podcast as a question - can you stand the rain and shelter the storms that come within you.... can you find healthy patterns?
When I say healthy patterns let me explain...... a storm came into my life... things got blown away.... I had to pick my pieces up.... the first thing I had to do was to not rebuild my house with the things that were hurting me anymore.
OK so I had to remove or release the negativity so the boards of drugs... marijuana.... that's what I used to do to escape.... drinking another form of escape.... food another forms of escape.... binge watching TV another form of escape.... negative self-talk ....
self-abandonment.... there's actually a long list of behaviors on the way I've treated myself that showed I didn't love myself.
Those boards where the boards that built the situation I was in and the good boards ... all those things that were left standing... where what supported me as I rebuilt.
All of those boards that fell away from the life that was created with the yin and yang of my foundation that I created .... now that the negative boards are all on the ground.... now that's where I have a choice .... to pick them back up and add them back in my foundation or to let them be.
Now at first, I kind of picked up a few of them... at the very beginning... because it was still a little too hard to face what needed to be faced within me.... but then as I continued to pray, I realized no that's not helping me anymore, and I allowed those boards to stay on the ground.
Now what boards did I use to rebuild my foundation: prayer, meditation, exercise.... so, the prayer and the meditation helped calm my mind ......it helped slow down the anxiety.... the racing thoughts.... the overthinking........ slow down my breathing; because you breathe differently when you're in a state of trauma or fight, flight, or freeze mode; you breathe quickly.... but if you breathe in and breathe out slowly.... you learn to calm your body, calm your mind, calm your nervous system. Then I learned to exercise which actually helps keep your mental body as well as your physical body together.... again mind, body, and soul.
So, I've already combined my mind, body, and soul.... where I did not have that incorporated consistently in my life .... those negative boards have now been replaced by positive boards to build my foundation...... but it took time to build .... your house it doesn't get built overnight.... it takes time.
Now trust and believe I wanted that house to be built quick, fast in a hurry.... but no.... you built that house on an unstable foundation and now you're building so it's just solidifying and finding out what you like.... what you don't like from your past.... why those boards even crumbled.... and you're restructuring your life.
I learned about energy healing... about chakras all of these things allowed me to get on a healing journey. Through prayer there is also something that happened where I was introduced to angelic or Angel numbers where these numbers were flashing up repeatedly and now, I know this is going to a whole another level right now for you guys, but the biggest thing was these Angel numbers intuitively I recognized these numbers were not the same as just any other numbers. I worked with numbers every day and all of a sudden, I saw these numbers repeating but it resonated deeply within my soul, so I was like hmm ... so I just googled what does this number mean... I just instinctively felt that way... and I recognize that you know these my prayers were being answered in many ways but if you're not willing to hear how else is he going to get to you........ so, through these repeating numbers you know it you Google it and then it will talk to you about what those numbers mean.
Now those numbers helped guide me along a way of reparenting myself because again a lot of our behaviors were because our first teachers were traumatized by their first teachers' generation, after generation and they're only teaching what they know and that's usually conditional love. You built your house on a broken foundation because it was never on solid ground.... my whole childhood was on shaky ground.
I never knew I had the power to tear it down and rebuild it.... so this was my journey to rebuild it and to rebuild it was with unconditional love. It doesn't mean you have to tear down your existing home... foundation that you built between your relationships.... sometimes they may fall away while you're rebuilding because while you rebuild your house you recognize again that house was built on shaky ground and those relationships were based off of needs that fulfilled what was unstable within you.
So, as you remove those boards and replace them with healthy boards... that means people, places, things that supported the unhealthy things are gonna fall away too .... because by fixing within yourself .... fixes your outside world too.
You needed the outside world to fulfill a need that mirrored within.... that you weren't willing to see or acknowledge.... and you lived in it.... showing you every day.... until you got tired of seeing it every day.... so that you could fix it within.... and now that you're fixing it within you no longer need it mirrored outside of you...... now you removed the board.... now the outside issues were removed.... now you're rebuilding it.... replacing it with healthy things and calling in healthy people, places, and things.... that support your new structure .... your new foundation that is built on healthy foundation mind, body, and soul.
So the dependency with alcohol.... the dependency on drugs... I was even on xanax for anxiety.... I didn't need that any longer because I started regulating my nervous system.... my breathing....and be able to be calm and react in a different way.... again, wasn't always easy.... I've been on this journey for two years now.
So let me say that it was a journey there were times I didn't want to do it .... you just take it one step at a time.... 5 minutes.... 2 minutes ...3 minutes... 5 minutes. I did it this day.... but gosh I can't today.... I just don't have that energy.... still do it.... for one minute.... you're still doing it .... you're still conditioning your body to being loved.... to being treated right... you know you're learning...... teaching your mind OK these thoughts right now...... no, I can't let you talk to me like that no more...... I can't talk to myself like this no more...... and it takes a second ...... it's about reprogramming yourself ........ unconditional love.... loving yourself unconditionally because you love yourself enough to do so...... to say no..... to set healthy boundaries...... to say yes to things that you may not have ever done before because you didn't feel you were worthy or good enough to say yes to it...... say yes.... expose yourself to these things.... these worlds.... these people that you once felt you didn't belong with.... or that you weren't good enough to be with...... honey you are.... because the only thing that ever stopped you; was you.... and those unhealthy foundations that were within you that kept telling you you're not worthy...... you're not good enough.... you're tearing those boards down for a reason.
Now I'm not saying jump right on up in it ... because if you're not ready to receive that you're going to push it away and then with that rejection you're going to fall back into your own unhealthy patterns and that's where unconditional love comes in.
Love yourself ... take the time you need ...that you know you're ready to do this.... OK and again even if you dip your toe into it and then you succeeded.... you did good... you faced your fear... and you did it.... and it turned out good... great! Now maybe you won't wanna jump in immediately again and that's OK you're gonna take that reward and you're gonna continue on your healing journey... continue building your house.... continue building your foundation and you're going to start incorporating more and new things.
Such as healthy foods that give life versus takes life away........ you're eating foods that come from life and not already dead. If you're eating preservatives and stuff.... where was that actually something that brings life in? Where you have the fruits and vegetables that have energy of love and from nature the energy of the sun... the energy of air... earth... wind... the elements that fuel your chakras because your chakras are elements.... you are an element .... you are energy... so you're feeding yourself things that are supporting you instead of taking it away.
With exercise you're rebuilding your body, you're rebuilding your mind.... so, you can support your mind .... your body ...and soul. You're healing your heart from the past pains, traumas, and that could be in many ways.... so not only did I have meditation, there's also breathwork, energy healing, Reiki, EFT (emotional freedom technique) this is a tapping therapeutic energy healing that taps on meridians and at first it felt very weird to do but as you do it and you start seeing improvements in your life it doesn't matter how you look while you're tapping. I do suggest you research some of these things and I'm mentioning to you today to help you rebuild your foundation because it's all about equipping yourself with these tools that we didn't have before to heal our mind, our body, and our soul.
I read the Bible... it took a whole year ... actually I'm almost done I have just a few more chapters... so when you cannot read it there are Bible apps that will read these verses with you but truly listen to them. I do suggest you actually read it because when I was younger I thought the Bible was very complicated but they have versions of the Bible that allow you to read it in current words and so that you cannot be confused by the word so feel free to get the new versions where it's just like a book and you can read it with modern day language.
I do suggest that you use that Bible with the original verbiage in the Bible so you can see and understand because as a child those words actually frightened me because I was in a trauma state so everything I read or heard it translated into me as fear based thinking but as an adult as I was healing and when I started reading the Bible again....I started reading these words differently. The Old Testament at first triggered me a little bit because it had a lot of stuff in it that kind of felt still resonate within fear because again I started the Bible when I was still at the beginning of my healing stage but then you know that's a good thing because you breathe through it and you read it.
The New Testament and it's not so fear based it's definitely something that was a little bit deeper than I ever recognized but again that's something that helps on a spiritual level for you to reconnect and to see things differently. I think a lot of us avoid our spirituality because that's an unknown but every day we wake up and every day we go out in this world guess what that's unknown too ...you have no idea what's going to happen within your body, your mind, or any of the people we interact with each and every single day... that's unknown too.
So the first question is why is spirituality something you avoid because it is a part of us and a lot of pieces that are broken and shattered that were replaced with unhealthy boards is because there was that piece missing within us that spirituality piece because we were neglecting our soul .... who we are internally .. energetically and how we connect to God.
That's definitely something I do suggest you look into and just be open to reading to expanding your mind to develop yourself, reparent yourself, and I'll go into different things about reparenting and how the Bible is relevant in our lives.... or just how spirituality is in our lives because I'm not saying I'm officially religious, but I am spiritual and there's spiritual text and things of that nature that holds relevance on how we live accordingly in our lives each and every single day.... the fears... the worries.... and doubts that are within.
The people that are the characters in the Bible had the same kind of fears and doubts we have today and we all have free will and how we choose creates the yin and yang of our lives. Same as in the Bible I just didn't even realize that so if you're not ready for it don't worry about it.... just allow yourself to heal.... rebuild your foundation on things that help uplift and inspire you... your thoughts ...your words ....and actions.... so that it is on a strong foundation so you can go out in the world and whatever storm may come you are sheltered... that you love yourself unconditionally because not everybody is going to appreciate you..... not everybody is going to love you the way you want to be loved...... not everyone is going to say the words you want to hear...... not everyone is going to uphold those expectations that you have of them... but you can still set healthy boundaries in a loving and kind way....... you can still uplift and nourish and take care of yourself...... you can still do all those things that help inspire and empower you to lead by example so that others around you can come up to your level all on their own and if they're not ready they're not ready but I love you unconditionally.... I forgive you for the things that happened in the past because now I'm on another level.
I understand that our pains, our trials and tribulations of our life have all shaped us to be who we are today and I understand that you haven't yet been there because I was at that point too..... when I was not ready to heal, to rebuild and to choose differently, to choose in a way that I can stand the rain that I can stand up, that I can say I am worthy, that I can say I am strong, that I can say I am powerful, that I can say I am loved, to say I love you back to someone else and genuinely love them.... to not expect them to give back that love ....to give back that aid ... to give back that support.... because you're able to give it to yourself.
You know better now.... we give to those in need because they are in need and that helps support them.... it's a brick to help them build their foundation. That's exactly what we do to support ourselves is building ourselves up brick by brick and then once we're in that position we can help build another person up.
We have a lot of power in this world.... we gave our power away in a lot of ways not knowing it .... not realizing it but if you look at your life; you can see how it's impacted you.... the way our thoughts reflected in our lives.... the way our words... our actions ...... our surroundings our environments.... it reflects on our internal turmoil.... internal battle with ourselves a messy home.... a messy desk... a messy car... a messy mind... broken relationships... have a broken heart.... diseases are created because your body is not at ease.... it's about you reconnecting with yourself. Can you stand the rain when the storms come.... can you stand the rain? It begins with you first so then you can help support another person shelter through the storm. Through the good times and bad times, you will always be right there.
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